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Post by farminall on Mar 8, 2010 8:02:58 GMT -5
Why can't Hellen Keller drive?
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Post by ghurley on Mar 8, 2010 19:40:52 GMT -5
i have no idea
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nix
Full Member
Posts: 301
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Post by nix on Mar 8, 2010 22:18:37 GMT -5
cuz shes dead?
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Post by farminall on Mar 9, 2010 9:15:07 GMT -5
Because she's a woman! ;D
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Post by Tomas D. on Mar 9, 2010 17:57:03 GMT -5
HAHAHAHA!  cant say ive heard that one before |
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nix
Full Member
Posts: 301
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Post by nix on Mar 17, 2010 19:21:35 GMT -5
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass."
"OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?
"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
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Post by Quinton DeDecker on Mar 17, 2010 20:09:04 GMT -5
hahahaha thats a good one
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Post by Tim Carlson on Mar 18, 2010 16:10:06 GMT -5
That last one was good. Never heard it before. HAHAHA
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Post by Tomas D. on Mar 18, 2010 16:50:46 GMT -5
hahaha thats a good one nix
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Post by hoss on Mar 19, 2010 20:02:41 GMT -5
omfg...lmfao....that was great nix
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Post by hoss on Mar 19, 2010 20:04:05 GMT -5
There's a black guy and a mexican in th back seat of a car... who's driving?
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Post by jacoblarson on Mar 19, 2010 20:08:16 GMT -5
There's a black guy and a mexican in th back seat of a car... who's driving? The cop. |
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Post by Austin Stewart on Mar 20, 2010 0:08:54 GMT -5
There's a black guy and a mexican in th back seat of a car... who's driving? The cop. A little asian dude |
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Post by hoss on Mar 20, 2010 14:49:57 GMT -5
There's a black guy and a mexican in th back seat of a car... who's driving? The cop. yep there you go jacob... |
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nix
Full Member
Posts: 301
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Post by nix on Mar 22, 2010 20:29:06 GMT -5
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"
"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."
"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."
"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"
"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."
"Man, what a way to go!"
"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."
"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that..."
"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
"I shot him!"
"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
"He was wrecking my house."
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John K.
Full Member
Respect the Eagle
Posts: 270
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Post by John K. on Mar 22, 2010 20:51:52 GMT -5
ROFL!!!
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cant say ive heard that one before
